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Thanks for giving. They’re the words you’d like to read on a thank you card or what you’d like to hear after sending something to a special person. Unfortunately, they’re words that aren’t uttered nearly enough. It may be because the recipient got so busy that it slipped his or her mind, or maybe it’s because the recipient thought the gratitude was obvious. Regardless of the reason, it doesn’t stop you from feeling miffed, unappreciated, hurt and completely ignored. You may even convince yourself that it would be foolish to give that person a gift ever again. But I’m here to tell you that if you ever felt that way, you probably don’t know how to give the right way.

I know, because I’ve been there. I’ve been on the ignored side of gift giving in the past and made a silent promise to myself to never give to that specific person again. After all, how could my attempt at bringing a smile to the recipients face and make their life a little better go unnoticed?

“It takes a special person to spend their hard earned money on something to make your day a little brighter. I didn’t have to go out of my way to give you something but I did and you should be thankful for that. How dare you not send me a thank you card or at least pick up the phone to show me some gratitude!”

Those were the thoughts that would run through my head when I recognized the lack of a thank you after an extremely “selfless” act. However, it wasn’t until discussing with an older and wiser relative (we’ll call him the real life version of Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World) that I realized I was giving the wrong way.

You see, my Mr. Feeny made me realize that I didn’t know the right way to give because I was making it all about me. (Reread the thoughts I once had in regards to gift giving. Notice how every sentence in that quote is focused on “me” or “I”?) If I had given gifts the right way, I would have noticed that gift giving is about the other person and not me. Once I made it about me, it was no longer a true gift, but an obligation I put on myself.

A true gift is given without the expectation of anything in return – that includes a thank you. I want you to think about your motives for giving people gifts in the past. If you are giving gifts to receive praise for your “selflessness”, you are giving for the wrong reasons. However, if you are giving a gift from the depths of your heart in the hopes that it will make someone’s day a little brighter and life a little easier, than you are giving for the right reasons. Receiving a thank you note and recognition won’t change that at all. Had I recognized that before, I would have saved myself from being upset and holding an unnecessary grudge. Plus, I would have been much happier.

As we charge full speed ahead into the holiday season, I hope you reflect on the reasons why you are a giving. Giving from your heart will always be much better for everyone involved than giving with selfish thoughts. Whether or not, you get anything in return you can now spare yourself hard feelings by knowing that your act was done from a good place even if little appreciation is shown. If everyone did that, the world would be a far better place.

In honor of Giving Tuesday, I challenge you to put your new knowledge of gift giving to use by donating to a good cause or non-profit organization  such as Big Brothers Big Sisters, or Lustig Dance Theater. (If you’re feeling really genourous you can think about giving to my “Help me pay back my student loans fund”…. Just kidding!) You may not get a thank you from the person your donation will directly help, but your heart will smile knowing that you made someone’s day just a little brighter.

What are your reasons for giving this holiday season and other occasions? Do you get upset when you don’t receive a thank you?

TERRIfic Quip: Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.

If you are anything like the 77 percent of Americans who didn’t finish holiday shopping, you’re scrambling frantically for the perfect gift. With Chanukah here and only four days left till Christmas you are probably feeling hopeless; especially if you are a business owner giving gifts to employees or clients. The solution: Keep it simple by giving thanks.

It’s amazing what a (handwritten) thank you card can do. The gesture says so much more than any other store bought gift. Not only is it simple and inexpensive, it almost guarantees a smile by the recipient. It’s also the perfect excuse to buy pretty stationary and corny cards. While you can purchase thank you cards with a message, I prefer blank cards so I can personalize it. Giving each note a special touch makes all the difference… and it’s good for business. Clients really do appreciate the effort business people make in getting to know them and building a relationship.

Of course, this strategy isn’t only reserved for holidays. Sending notes all year is a great, fun idea. Try sending two thank you cards everyday. I know what you are thinking… “I don’t have time to send two cards to clients everyday.” Trust me. It doesn’t take a lot of time. I spend about ten minutes five days a week sending personalized thank you notes. And I must admit that they are ten minutes well spent; especially since I they seem to be well-received judging by the responses I receive. I also love the tingly feeling I get when doing something to bring a smile to someone’s face.

Credit: www. freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1803

I’m sure most are aware of the reports stating student loan debt will soon surpass $1 trillion dollars. Of course ,with that much debt distributed,  there are millions wondering how they are going to pay it off. Kelli Space, a Northeastern Alum, may have figured it out. Rather than wallow in her mistakes, Kelli brainstormed ways to pay down her $200,000 student loan debt as quickly as possible. Yes, she got a job. And she also started the website twohundredthou.com to tell her story and ask for donations to assist with the financial burden. It’s only fair considering she didn’t have a graduation party in 2009 where she would get monetary gifts… At least, that’s the way she’s spinning it.

As anyone can expect, she’s gotten loads of hate mail mixed in with words of praise. What do I think of this? I think I should have thought of it sooner! As many of you know, I too am burdened by student loan debt. Granted I don’t have as much as Kelli Space, but it’s certainly more than I would like. What better way is there to pay off debt than to combine your own employment efforts with the kindness of those assisting in creating a brighter future for young Americans like herself? I think it was a great idea for Kelli to take her debt troubles to the public. After all, people have no problem donating to those entering beauty pageants or someone’s new business venture. Why wouldn’t people want to help out a girl who got screwed over in her pursuit of a higher education and a brighter future? Yes, she should take responsibility for her actions and I believe she has.

Although I applaud her efforts, I don’t think I have the courage to do that. I am way too much of a private person to put my financial burdens in the public eye. I do have to admit that it is something I have thought of doing, prior to coming across her blog. Kelli beat me to the punch! After nearly two years, Kelli has raised almost $12,000 towards her student loan debt.

So what do you think about Kelli’s attempt to solicit donations from kinds strangers? Check out her website, www.twohundredthou.com to see for yourself!