October 21, 2014

The Bright Side of Disappointment – Yes, It Does Exist!

 

Disappointment: It casts a shadow over your strongest desires but sheds light on the goals hidden within your wildest dreams.

Disappointment: It casts a shadow over your strongest desires but sheds light on the goals hidden within your wildest dreams.

No matter how often we experience it, disappointment is always difficult to deal with. I should know – as I write this I’m currently dealing with disappointment. Despite my best efforts, I did not make the Trenton Freedom Dance Team this season. To say I was crushed is an understatement. Upon getting that rejection email, I felt depressed, defeated, ugly and as though I was a major loser. The crazy thing is I felt the disappointment coming, but that didn’t lessen the blow of the hurt I felt once it arrived. It didn’t help that most of my friends made the team. So not only did I not achieve my dream, I was now also the outcast of my friends. Atleast, that’s what I thought…

Like most wives, I decided to wallow in my sorrows and real in the disappointment in the arms of my husband. I’m ashamed to say that wasn’t my first choice though. I had preferred to go for a jog, head to the gym or climb a pole, but the time of night did not allow for that. However, that time spent in my husband’s arms turned out to be the best thing I could do when dealing with a case of disappointment. He tickled me, we watched TV and had fun eating snacks in bed and then we finally discussed the inevitable… my disappointment. He encouraged me look on the bright side. “What bright side,” I thought. I just got told I wasn’t good enough to reappear on the team. While there where no tears, I surely thought there would be as I mourned the death of a dream. It wasn’t until my husband pointed out that my rejection from the dance team wasn’t the death of a dream, but the end of a dream realized and the beginning of a new one becoming reality. Of course, I thought he was crazy.

How could my disappointing rejection mean the reality of a new dream entering my life.? That’s when he reminded me of my bucket list. I had created two bucket lists – one titled 30 before 30 consisting of things I wanted to accomplish before my 30th birthday and one titled pre-pregnancy. Of course, “be a professional dancer on a dance team” was on both lists along with a bunch of other aspirations I made for myself. How could I have forgotten that? The mere fact that I was able to cross an item off both lists was enough to say that I accomplished my dream. And as much as I hate to admit it, my sometimes clueless husband was right. The close of that chapter in my dream, truly did mean the beginning of a new one becoming a reality. After all, had I continued to dance on the team there would have been little time for me to work on achieving the rest of my goals on the lists. Then it would’ve been a matter of time till my disappointment resurfaced upon realizing I never got to finish the items on my lofty bucket lists.

It was at that moment I realized the true purpose of disappointment. It wasn’t cast upon us to make us feel worthless, give up and go through life without hope. It’s a chance for us to reaffirm a value, reevaluate purpose and reassess our dreams. It may even appear to set us up for an even better opportunity. I now have the time to focus on my other endeavors – something else that makes my heart smile and my passion soar while crossing items off my bucket lists. Maybe fate has something more meaningful in store for me. Had I made the team, I’d never have the time to find out.

That’s the funny thing about disappointment. It  casts a shadow over your strongest desires but sheds light on the goals hidden within your wildest dreams. I know I can’t be the only one it’s happened to. I’m pretty sure if you think about it, you’ll be able to recall moments of disappointment that led you to moments that made you smile. Maybe you didn’t get a job you applied for and then was offered an opportunity of a lifetime two weeks later. Perhaps you didn’t get the house you put an offer in, but a few months later you realized it set you up financially to get a nicer home. Or what about the time you didn’t make the basketball team only to be asked to mentor student athletes at a school? That’s the strange but almost guaranteed bright side of disappointment. You may not always see it, but it’s always lurking somewhere quietely in the corner waiting to jump out and surprise you.

It only goes to show it’s true what they say. When one door closes another bigger and better door opens. Thanks to my dear hubby and realizing there truly is a bright side to everything, I can now cross an item off my list and proudly say, “on to the next one.”

What have you learned from disappointment? Have you ever experienced a bright outcome after a gloomy disappointment?

TERRIfic Quip: Don’t let todays’ disappointments dim the light on tomorrow’s promise.

October 16, 2014

Why You Should Celebrate Yourself This Boss’s Day!

Forget your boss. It's about time you celebrate yourself. Happy National Boss's Day!

Forget your boss. It’s about time you celebrate yourself. Happy National Boss’s Day!

It’s October 16th – also known as National Boss’s Day. Depending on who you ask it may actually be the most awkward made-up holiday of the year. (Yes, even more awkward than Valentine’s Day) It’s hard to tell whether you should get a gift for your boss or not no matter how amazing he or she may be. If you do get a gift, it’s a fine line between looking like a suck up and not appearing to suck up enough. And of course, if you believe you have the worst boss in the world you’re wondering why you should even celebrate  them at all… unless you think you’ll face repercussions for ignoring the holiday. The last thing you want is to not get approved for your time off because of your refusal to slap on a party hat and invest in some Happy boss’s day chocolate cake. So what’s a confused employee to do?

I say rather than celebrate your boss, take a moment to celebrate yourself. After all, I’m pretty sure that outside of the office you are indeed in control of several aspects of your life. Think about it, if you are the head of the household you are most likely the boss of your kitchen. If you are a college student, you are in control of events in your extracurricular activities. And if you are the younger sibling, you may even be the boss of birthday and Christmas traditions. And if you are not in control of anything, you have the ability to change that.

Whether your role in the household is minuscule or the contempt of your real boss is extremely strong, you hold the power in your hands to make a change because you are the boss of your life. Whether or not you realize it, the job you hold, the awards you won, the skill you’ve honed and the care you show others should not be credited to your boss. You are the one who made that happen. As the boss of your life, you were the one who found the motivation to apply for and land your current position. You were the one who learned how to channel Facebook for a good cause by wishing your friend a happy birthday. It was your will power that allowed you to educate yourself and build up your hobbies. It’s about time you celebrate that. Even if you received help from friends, family or mentors, you acted as your own boss when you decided to move forward. That should not be taken for granted.

Boss or not, you are responsible for getting to where you are today. So forget your traditional boss and give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it.  (And maybe get your work boss a card) As a  self-employed journalist and freelance writer, who has been “boss -less” for the last four years, I know I’m certainly celebrating myself.

 

How are the boss of your of your life? In what ways have you chosen to honor yourself this boss’s day? 

TERRIfic Quip: You are the boss of your own destiny.

October 2, 2014

It’s Not too Late to Make 2014 Amazing!

It's not too late to make the rest of your life the best of your life.

It’s not too late to make the rest of your life the best of your life.

Winter dragged on. Spring showed promise and summer flew by us. And in the blink of an eye it’s fall and we’re staring at “OCTOBER” in giant letters on our calendars. If you are anything like me your thoughts probably sound like this:

“Holy crap! Where has the time gone? The year is almost over and I haven’t done anything.” That’s when you peek at your new year resolution list and recognize that you’ve barely scratched an item off. And with the reminder that it is October, you feel like you have no time left, you need to give up and simply focus on making 2015 amazing.

But I say, hold that thought. You’ve got almost three full months to do something meaningful. Instead of giving up on this year, it’s time to kick all those plans you had into high gear. It’s never too late to make a difference. Three months is a lot of time to see the fruits of your labor. Think about it…

In three months you can:

Get those flat abs you’ve been dreaming of

Grow a beautiful and lush vegetable garden

Draw up a business plan for that online store you’ve always wanted to start

Sign up, attend and complete classes for a professional certificate you’ve been dying to earn

Make a decent dent in the emergency savings fund you’ve been putting off.

Lose those last 10 pounds…

The list goes on and on.

So now that you know you still have time left and there’s still several feasible goals to accomplish, you’re probably wondering where you can start during this last ditch effort to make 2014 amazing.

Dig up your goal list from January and see what you can tackle. Didn’t make a list of goals at the start of the year? No problem! Now’s your chance to get some scrap paper or pull up the  “notes” app on your phone and create one. And no, it doesn’t matter if you failed at every single goal you jotted down earlier this year. That was in the past and the past is behind us. Right now, we’re focusing on making these goals work out now and in the future.

But don’t just rest at picking a goal. Go a bit further by making a plan. After all, a goal without a plan is just a wish.

Most importantly don’t give up because you feel like the year is almost over. It’s not too late. Get off your butt and do everything you can to make 2014 amazing. I know I am. Who’s jointing me?

What do you plan to do to make the rest of 2014 AMAZING? I want to know what you are doing!

TERRIfic Quip: Life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change.

September 30, 2014

25 Things To be Thankful For Everyday

It is September 30th. I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t written a new post for this blog in nearly three months and I have no

Sometimes all you need to do is stop and smell the flowers to recognize all things you are thankful for.

Sometimes all you need to do is stop and smell the flowers to recognize all the things you are thankful to have.

excuse for it. I could tell you that I let life get the best of me pulling me  away from brainstorming uplifting posts for this blog. Or I could tell you that I’ve been so busy teaching a bunch of classes such as Zumba, Ballet and sexy flexy that time got away from me. But I won’t. Instead, I’ll hang my head in shame as I explain that I simply did not make the blog a priority. As a result, TerrificWords blog fell by the wayside. However, there is a bright side. My hiatus from the blog allowed me to stop and smell the roses. Despite the hectic, crazy and sometimes depressing days, my ability to do some soul searching and recognize all that was truly important. In the hopes that one day you will soon be able to recognize the little things, I’m sharing my list of 25 things to be thankful for everyday. Perhaps, in time recalling these small blessings will help you recognize your many large victories.

 

1. The loose change in your pocket or money in the bank.

Even if it’s not a lot, it’s certainly more than what many people have. You are rich even if you don’t realize it.

2. All the major and minor setbacks you’ve encountered.

Even if you don’t see it now, those setbacks have made you the strong person you are today.

3. The tears you’ve cried.

When there are no words, you can always count on them to express what your voice can’t.

4. Imagination.

For allowing you to dream big.

5. Your laughter no matter how hideous it may sound.

The sound of a hearty chuckle or gently giggle is like music to the ears

6. Your nose and the ability to smell

For giving you the opportunity to stop and smell the roses.

7. Your parents

Even if they were horrible, you can’t help but smile knowing that they gave you life.

8. Internet access

Though second nature to you, it’s often not in reach for others.

9. A warm coat

As the temperature begins to drop on the east coast, remember you are one of the few who can reach in the closet for clothing to protect you from the blistering cold.

10. The ability to love

Even if you haven’t found “the one” imagine  what a different world it would be if you couldn’t feel love’s embrace.

11. Your mind

It may not be as sharp as you’d like, but I’m willing to bet your mind has helped you think, dream and come up solutions you never thought you could imagine.

12. Phones

For making it easier to connect and build meaningful relationships

13. Passing Time

You may not think there is enough it, but it’s certainly something we shouldn’t take for granted. There are far too many who’s time has run out.

14. A bed to sleep on

The bed you lay your head on is responsible for those peaceful nights

15. The ability to read.

The fact that you are reading this now, speaks volumes. Many can’t do the same. Be thankful that you can.

16. Pain

Though not pleasant, suffering has allowed you to recognize life’s simple pleasure and know a richer and more fulfilling life when you see one.

17. Scandal

I may not be a fan, but I know some people are extremely thankful the television show has returned to give them something to do on Thursday nights.

18. Your voice

For allowing you to express yourself.

19. Diversity

For learning to appreciate people from all walks of life. Can you imagine what this world would be like if we were all the same?

20. Sun

For lighting up the world when we need it most.

21. Hair

It may just be dead protein growing on your head, but that protein has a way of making us feel beautiful. That’s a beauty many people long for.

22. Passion

Whether it’s cancer research, a hobby, or an injustice, be thankful that you’ve found something you are passionate enough to fight for. Sometimes those are the things that make life worth living.

23.  Holidays and birthdays

A reason to celebrate is ALWAYS something to be thankful for

24. Your ability to learn

Your ability to learn is only a sign of your immense sign of potential. As long as you are armed with knowledge, there’s nothing you can’t do.

25. You

Be thankful that you are here and the person you are as I’m sure you’ve certainly touched someone with your presence.

 

Did I miss anything? What things are you most thankful for in life?

TERRIfic Quip: There is happiness to be found in every moment.

June 26, 2014

Fearless Quest 20: Tackling Confrontation

I don’t like confrontation and will do anything to avoid it. Sometimes that is not always a good thing. I’m more likely to backdown and apologize even if I know something is owed to me. This week was dedicated to confrontations and getting what is deserved of me.

 

June 19: Asked a teammate for extra tickets for the football game. As you may recall, I’m a member of the Trenton Freedom Football team. For each game, we only get two free tickets. That’s usually never enough and most people end up asking other team mates for me.For the first time ever, I took a cue from one of my teammates and asked everybody if I could have an extra ticket. After a few days, I finally got my free ticket and I don’t think I was a nuisance to anyone. Fear averted.

June 20: Asked for a free ebook in exchange for a review.  A company tweeted a deal for an ebook sold at $19.99 about not paying student loans. Considering there were no reviews for it, I figured I would ask for a free copy in exchange for a free book. The writers didn’t budge, so they are without a review and I’m without an ebook. The plus side is no one criticized me for asking! Fear averted.

June 21: Wore my hair in a puff/afro.  I love my natural hair, but I’m always worried that everyone else might not. My dance coach always asked me to wear my hair very curly for dance team performances, so I decided to wear my hair in it’s natural curly state in fear that it wouldn’t be well received. Much to my surprise, most people loved it and I got several compliments.

June 22: Emailed a business in regards to diversity. I browsed a dance clothing company and realized that 95% of people in the catalogue were blonde. There was no sign of anyone with any diversity. I decided to email an administrator at the company to confront them about the lack of diverse representation and suggested I be the first African American model. While they didn’t offer me a modeling job, they also didn’t scold me for being so bold.  Fear averted!

June 23: Confronted a business about low wages.  I came across a job post advertising content creation job consisting of writing health related blog posts of 500 words at $10 each. Rather than ignore the post, I risked scrutiny by emailing the person and letting them know that they are essentially paying way less than minimum wage once they figure in the time for research, writing and edits. Of course I didn’t get a response back.

June 24: Called Rider University Financial Aid. No body likes speaking with employees for the companies they own money to . I think that feeling of fear and hate is intensified when it comes to student loans. However, I had to make the phone call to inquire about a payment I was late on. Though it wasn’t a pleasant conversation, I didn’t get yelled at or belittled and I was able to make my payment. I think it’s safe to say, Fear averted!

June 25: Took the lead on planning a friends party. I never take charge. It’s so much responsibility and it stressful. But today I ignored the stress and fears of messing things up by agreed to lead the planning of my friend’s going away/girl’s night out get together. The planning has only just begun so I can’t report anything yet. But I’ll keep you posted.

June 24, 2014

The Best Way to Enjoy Summer: Unplug and Disconnect

I don’t say I hate things a lot, but I HATE Facebook. However, judging by the post I wrote on it a few months ago and the unplugamount of times I log onto it every day, you’ll never know it. As annoying as it is, there’s something about seeing the messy posts your ‘friends” make about their crappy boyfriends, horrible jobs  and struggle with loans. On the other side, it can be somewhat depressing to learn of a “friend” who just bought a house while I’m still managing to deal with my student loan debt. And no matter how often I complain about it, I still manage to find myself glued to Facebook rather than connecting with friends, family, business partners or the great outdoors.

If it’s not Facebook, it’s Twitter, Pinterest or Instagram. Is it time consuming? Yes it is. But every time I questioned it, I reminded myself that it’s my job to be connected.  It wasn’t until recently that I realized that was a bunch of crap. Sure my job is to stay connected, but is being attached to my iPhone, Facebook, Twitter, Gmail, Pinterest and my tablet helping me do that?

Judging by the amount of times I’ve had to decline in-person networking events because of the amount of emails I had to read or the countless number of ignored  press event invitations because of the need to  “live-tweet”  a Twit chat, I would think not. Just because “connection” is only a few clicks away and only requires I be behind a screen doesn’t mean I’m connected. In fact, other than their font of choice, I’m convinced I don’t know these people at all.  

That’s why it only makes sense for me to unplug and disconnect for the summer. Starting July 1st, I am disconnecting from Facebook so I can focus on developing true connections rather than the artificial ones that we’ve become accustom to. I want to remember what it’s like to make a client laugh when discussing similar work stressors over lunch. I want to remember what it’s like to breathe in fresh summer air. Most importantly, I want to revisit the tingly feeling I get when recognizing that I’ve built more than just a business partnership, but a relationship. Unfortunately, I’ve found that it’s not possible for me to experience any of these things when dealing with the urge to be plugged to all things social media and technology. My guess is you can’t either.

If you are anything like me, you’re probably shaking your head in disagreement because you are such a fabulous multitasking-pro who has no problems plugging into the real world and technology. Don’t believe me? When was the last time you were able to engage fully on Facebook providing meaningful responses while being completely present in your family’s life? How about the last time you had no issue ignoring the email notification or Facebook alert on your phone while on a lunch date with your spouse? I’m willing to bet you weren’t as present in either situation as you would like. You might even say you were disconnected.

The truth is our brains are exhausted from attempting to doing it all. We’ve over exerted ourselves trying to be inclusive online that we’ve gone M.I.A in other areas of our lives making us miss out on true connections. I say it’s time for us to take a rest for the summer.

Deactivate Facebook, put down the smartphone and limit your time on email so you can truly connect. We won’t be able to truly plug into to people, nature, passion and summer unless we learn to unplug from the things that has taken over so much over lives. 

If unplugging for the summer sounds hard, try unplugging for an hour or even one day. You might be amazed with the change you’ll experience. Disconnecting might even make you happier, less stressed, a better employee and more positive and a networking machine. After all there’s more to life than recognizing a carefully selected profile picture and concocting Facebook statuses to earn hundreds of likes. And if you are worried about all the drama you’ll be missing from high school friends, think about how happy you’ll be when you’re electric or phone bill is much lower due to decrease in data and electricity usage.

 

Do you think you’ve missed out on a lot by living in connectivity? How do you plan to fully plug into the summer?

 

TERRIfic Quip: Sometimes it takes losing yourself in to really find yourself again.

June 23, 2014

Fearless Weak 19: Challenges with Identity

This week was meant to be about challenges related to my identity. However, it didn’t work out that way and my fears went across the board. Nonetheless, the challenges were still scary and helped me on my quest to be fearless.

June 12 – Legally changed my name. Call me crazy but I’ve been married for over a year and have been afraid to change my name legally. There’s something about changing the identity you’ve known your whole life, but out of love for my husband I changed my name to Hart. Though, I still have bouts with identity anxiety here and there, it isn’t as scary as I thought it would be… just a bit annoying to change every document. Fear Averted.

June 13- Taught Zumba class. I got my license to teach Zumba less than a month ago and was already offered the opportunity to teach a class. Considering I didn’t have a routine or music, I considered turning down the opportunity in fear of embarrassing myself. Instead, I crammed and accepted the challenge. Though I ended up free styling most of the class, it went well and I’m glad I did it.

June 14 – Fearless failure. Unfortunately, I did not have time to do anything scary today.

June 15- Sent a tweet to Nicki Minaj. Nothing big, but still a bit daunting noneth-less. I saw Nicki Minaj on Live with Kelly & Michael and wanted to ask her something about the interview. Though she doesn’t answer my tweet, I realized asking wasn’t as big a deal as I thought it would be.

June 16- Made a hair appointment. If no anyone with natural black hair, you know that we don’t trust just anyone with as our stylist in fear of getting our hair damaged. Well after doing my hair myself for years, I’ve finally decided to face my fear and make a hair appointment at the local beauty school. My appointment is this weekend and I’m scared out of my mind.

June 17- Called head of customer service for MyPublisher. I had a bad experience with the photo book company, MyPublisher and called the regular 800 number to complain. However, you never get too far with them so I decided to call the people in charge who could actually do something. Of course, I was afraid I’d sound crazy or they’d yell me, but I called the head of Customer Operations anyway. They didn’t answer so I left a voicemail. We’ll see what happens…

June 18- Agreed to do make an appearance for team on Saturday. A last minute event for a sponsor came up unexpectedly. It’s a high pressure event in which they depend on my performance to secure sponsorship for the next season. It’s very nervewracking and scary. Yet, I signed on anyway and crossing my fingers in the hopes I don’t screw up.

The scariest thing I did this week was teaching that Zumba class? There’s nothing like expecting to be the expert at something that you are really a complete novice at. 

June 16, 2014

Fearless Quest Week 18 – Asking for What You Want

I’m sure you’d heard the saying a closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Well this week, I put that sentiment.

June 5 – Asked to teach a sexy stretch class. I’ve been wanting to teach a class for a while now and finally asked my pole inside hook smiling antiqueinstructor if she thought it would be a good idea. She told me that we can consider it in September.

June 6 – Reached out to old friend on Facebook.

June 7 – Posted a video of me dancing. I learned a new trick in my pole class and was asked to post the video of it on Facebook. Of course, I was afraid of embarrassing myself but I did it anyway. Much to my surprise I got a slew of likes and positive comments. Fear averted.

June 8 – Complimented a random girl on her legs. I had the pleasure of attending the wedding for two close friends this weekend. Other then the ceremony, I was mesmerized by one of the guest’s legs. Of course, I wanted to tell the girl what I thought, but was afraid it be too weird. Regardless, I walked across the dance floor to tell the beautiful women what I thought about her beautiful legs. Rather than being creeped out, she thanked me and said she was flattered. Turns out everyone loves a compliment. Fear averted!

june 9  – Asked to get a free photo book. They say when you don’t ask you don’t receive. Therefore, I put my fear of rejection and humiliation to the test by asking customer service of MyPublisher for a free photo book. While I didn’t get what I wanted, I also wasn’t laughed at or ridiculed. The representative merely told me there was nothing they do do. Fear averted.

June 10 – Can’t remember right now, but when I do I’ll be back to update!

June 11 – Asked for a removal of fees. We had an issue with the landlord in which he wrongfully charged us for insufficient funds and late fees. I felt it would be a lost cause to have those fees removed. However, I spoke to the regional manager who said it was a fair request and could remove the late fees for us. Fear Averted.

June 5, 2014

Fearless Quest Week 17: Spending money to grow

It’s my first week back in the challenge to be fearless.  In light of my last post acknowledging poor business decisions, I decided it was time to focus on conquering my fear of investing in myself and my business. I’ve been so focused on saving money, that I never knew when to spend. As a result, my business and I stopped growing.   One of the scariest things in the world to me is not having fall back money and never having enough. Needless to say I am not a spender. So this week, my focus was on spending money and investing in myself even though it scares the hell out of me. Here it goes…

May 29th : Purchased a blog banner for my ebookAs you may recall I published an ebook about inspiration and motivation last year. Unfortunately, it’s not generating as many sales as it used to because I haven’t been promoting it. Today I spent $20 for a banner on the blog, Mama’s Got it Together. Of course, I was scared spending $20 that could’ve gone in my gas tank on a blog banner that may not even produce results. I was scared I’d be wasting my money and no one would even click on the link. The result: Since purchasing the banner, no one has bought the ebook and a few people have clicked the link. But I learned something about getting what you pay for.

May 30th – Bought wedding gift for someone I haven’t spoken to in years A distant cousin is getting married this weekend. Though we are friends on Facebook, I haven’t spoken to her since we were 7. Yet, I was compelled to stalk her registry and buy her a gift. However, I’m afraid she’ll think it’s weird to receive a gift from someone she has spoken to in almost 20 years. Well, I sent the gift, but she hasn’t received it. The Result: We’ll see. Only time will tell.

May 31st – Attempted the caterpillar on the pole. Unrelated to money or spending I decided to take a risk by trying a new move in my pole dance class that I’ve been absolutely terrified to try. It’s called the caterpillar. Basically, you are upside down on the pole and move your body like a caterpillar up the pole. I’ve been afraid to fall and hurt myself. The Result: I tried it and didn’t accomplish it. But I didm’ fall. Fear Averted.

June 1st – Drove the car on E. My fear of never having enough extends to my gas tank. I’m always afraid of letting my tank get less than half. For some reason, I think if it gets past half and run out of gas. So today, I drove about 6 miles with the light on E. The Result: I made it to the store and back without stalling. Fear Averted.

June 2 – Purchased social media blast for my ebook. My fear of spending/investing continues as I spent $100 on for a Social  Media Blast by Off Beat Bride. Again I was afraid I’d be wasting money on a non lucrative deal. The Result: So far 10 people have purchased, 45 people liked it on Facebook, and 616 clicked the link. Fear averted! I definitely think this one was worth the investment.

June 3 – Call loan people. I’m ashamed to say I’ve gotten behind on one of my student loans. Rather than avoiding them, I called to make the strange request that they apply money they owed me 6 years ago to the balance. They didn’t answer so I left a voicemail. The Result: We’ll see. Let’s hope I have the guts to call back.

June 4 – Agreed to audition to teach a Zumba class. I recently got licensed to teach Zumba. However, I have no experience teaching Zumba. An acquaintance told me about an open position and I agreed to audition to do it. I am scared out of my mind. The Result: We’ll see. The audition is next week.

Scariest Thing this Week: Hard to say, but I’ll have to pick spending $100 dollars on the social media blast. One hundred dollars is a lot of money for me to gamble with!

 

June 4, 2014

How to Give Up When Life Falls Apart

“Things Fall Apart” is more than just a legendary novel most of us were forced to read during our high school english class. giveupFor a lot of us, it seems to be the hook to a never ending song that keeps playing on repeat in the background of our lives. Unfortunately, it’s not a good song. Within the lyrics are tales of health issues, followed by job stressors, followed by a promotion, followed by yet another disappointment.

After so many down falls, it’s only natural you’ll just want to pull the plug on the radio and give up all hope. And who can blame you? Hell, I was ready to give up on life several months ago. Thanks to a bad business decision made earlier this year, I lost clients, had my cable and internet cut off, and was carless. Of course, I got through it the only way most of us know how. I gave up. Because giving up is on everyone’s mind, I figured I’d share how to do it the right way from personal experience. So if you want to give up like a pro when it seems like everything in life falls apart, follow my advice…

1. Remember that everything is permanent.

Ever notice that whenever there is bad weather it often lingers for days? Or what about when you have projects at work that seem to go on forever? Some things in life just seem to be never-ending. Or what about your time in college? Didn’t that drag on for way too long? That’s because everything in life is permanent. When I went through my down time without a few clients, I felt like the drought would never end. Focusing on that helped me be upset longer so I could give up all hope.

It’s about time you accept that things will never get better for you. You’ll probably always be tired even after a nap. You’ll always feel hungry even after you eat and you’ll always be poor even though you work. Just give up on everything changing now and learn to live with your sucky life forever. Doing that makes it much easier to give up when your life is falling a part before your eyes.

2. Worry and complain at every chance you get.

Ever notice how the people who don’t worry are usually the happiest? Well that’s the opposite of what we are going for here. I learned that the only way to stay down long enough for you to want to give up on life is to complain and worry all day, every day. That’s what I did with my husband. As soon as he got home from work, I bored him to death with my tales of sorry and worries about getting by. Ignore the people who say you should be grateful for what you have. You tried that and it didn’t stop your life from falling apart. It’s time you worry and complain at every chance you get.

3. Focus on all the negativity.

Sure, you may have gotten married last year and it’s true your birthday is right around the corner, but that hasn’t helped you get out of your current struggle. So forget about all of that stuff. Focusing on that certainly won’t assist in giving up when life falls apart. Instead, focus on all the bad things that contributed to the horrible situations. Take into consideration the bachelor’s degree that hasn’t amounted to anything, the rising gas prices that eats at your wallet and the ungodly amount of calories in the lunch you just had contributing to your expanding waist line. Negativity is what got you into this sham of a life, and it’s the only thing that will keep there!

4. Let other people’s negativity take over.

Whenever you see someone else wallowing in their problems, join right in. Sometimes your own negativity isn’t enough to make you give up on your own. You may need the help of other depressing people to make you realize how horrible life really is. The best way to give up is to surround yourself with negativity. Allow everyone’s bitterness to change the person you are. What’s the point in being happy and hopeful, if there are so many other things to be upset about? Focus on that and the world’s problems, and giving up will be a breeze for you!

5. Think about how much you’re not growing because of the pain you’re facing.

Let’s face it. You’re obviously not becoming a better person. If you were, you wouldn’t have had so many screw ups. After all, how many times do you recall your loving and perfect parents messing up? Probably never. And let’s not forget your mentor. There’s a reason why she’s able to give you such good advice about careers, business and living life. It’s because she’s never done anything wrong. In fact, all the people in your life whom you love and admire have been doing things almost perfectly once they got older. So it’s clear there’s something wrong with you. If you were growing, you wouldn’t be facing such pain. Rather than thinking about how you can improve, focus on everything you’ve done wrong and the pain you are feeling. Only then will you be successful on giving up on life. Remember, feeling pain and making mistakes is never a part of growing.

Got that? Great now go out there, make me proud, and start giving up like your life depends on it.

 

.. Seriously, my life didn’t start getting better until I decided not to give up. I realized that I only have one shot at life, so this is my chance to live it to the best of my ability. Why give up on life because of a few bad months, when you still have so much life to live?

 

Have you ever given up on life? What did you did?

TERRIfic Quip: This too shall pass.