May 1, 2013

10 Life Lessons to Learn Now Rather than Later

Most people find this hard to believe, coming from a journalist/writer but I usually avoid the morning news. It’s hard to start the  10 Life Lessons to Learn Now Rather Than Latermorning on a high note when you are constantly reminded of the heartache, and shortcomings of the world. However, for the past month I found myself succumbing to morning news and becoming overwhelmed with emotion as I listened to stories surrounding the Boston Marathon Bombing, the Judy Arias trial, the Texas fertilizer plant explosion and more.

Oddly enough, rather than falling into a moment of depression and sadness, I found myself being thankful for all that I have and all that I’ve become thus far. Though fairly young, I’ve learned monumental lessons that carried me farther than I ever imagined. Yet, there is still so much more for me to learn in such a short amount of time. We only have so much time on this earth and the lessons instilled in it are always evolving. However, there are some life lessons that will always stand the test of time. So in attempt to assist others doing what they can to understand all of life’s uncertainties, I’ve compiled a list of 10 life lessons to learn now rather than later.

1. The only way to fail is by not trying.

Mistakes and let-downs aren’t what hold you back. It’s the refusal to try. Until you begin trying to reach that goal you will always fail. Lack of trying is not only the fastest and easiest way to failure, it’s the quickest route to a life of uncertainty and lack of growth. What hurts you most are the opportunities missed by giving in without trying. Regardless of the outcome, trying will always lead to success in the form of a goal reached or lesson learned. The willingness to try will take you everywhere and anywhere. The refusal will get you no where.

2. You are your most important relationship.

Loving your spouse, being the support system to your kids, and the shoulder to cry on for your friends are all instrumental. However, none of them trump the relationship, love, and support you provide for yourself. Never walk in anyone’s shadow, be your own hero and learn to depend on yourself. Once the relationship you have with yourself is a strong one, nothing can stop you.

3. You are your own best advocate.

Though your loved ones, the government, and others may do their best to represent you, only you know what is best for you. Welcome assistance and the added voices, but never be afraid to use your own. Your voice will always be amongst the strongest and loudest when it comes to your wellbeing.

4. Sometimes a sure thing is not the best thing.

It may be guaranteed and the recipe to a happy life, but it may also be the straight route to a mediocre life. Be willing to challenge the “sure thing” and take advantage of the better thing should it be lurking in the shadows. Sure, it’s a risk, but it might be a risk worth taking.

5. Being patient does not mean doing nothing.

While people like to say you need to be patient and wait for your time to come, it doesn’t mean sit back and relax while you wait for something to happen. Things don’t happen until you make things happen. Patience requires productivity while having faith it will pay off in the long run.

6. It’s ok to be selfish.

From the time we are little kids, we’ve been taught to believe that “selfish” is a bad word. We live in a society that points fingers at those who put themselves before others in any given situation. However, I’m here to tell you it’s about time we remove “selfish” from  the “bad word” category and accept it as a necessity of life. Yes, it is good to be generous and help others when the time calls for it. However, we must not forget that you can’t help others until you help yourself. You can’t be all things to all people until, you are everything you need to be for yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being selfish, putting yourself first and being your own savior if it means the chance to be all that and more to someone else in the future.

7. The things you hate the most just might be the things that mean the most.

It’s true when they say there’s a thin line between love and hate. It’s often the things you complain most about it and spend the most time thinking about that mean the most for your life. Unfortunately, it takes some people  a lifetime to recognize it. Take a moment to analyze the reason why your strong feelings result in displeasure and complaints.  Perhaps that festering hate it conjures up is a sign of something much bigger.

8. Deferring happiness to the future is a bad idea.

There is no sense in waiting for that perfect moment to start being happy. That moment will never come. Instead, vow to be happy now. Otherwise, you will always find something better to do and your happiness will remain a dream for the future that is yet to come.

9. Nobody has it all figured out.

They may seem to have it all together and they may put on a brave face, but not one person on this planet has it all figured out. Everyone has problems whether they are health related, finance related, family related, or all of the above. However, you may never know it because you are never allowed to see it. Despite the pretty picture they paint, you may never know what demons and uncertainties hide within each brush stroke. Though they may make it seem easy, you will never know what the person who seems “put together” is really going through.

We live in a crazy, chaotic world. It’s a pretty big challenge to always make perfect sense of it all. The best thing you can do is have faith in yourself, put on a brave face, and ride it out.

10. Money will never be the solution to your problems. 

I think we are all guilty of wishing we had more money to make ends meet, purchase some arbitrary item, or just be happier at some point. But the truth is, unless you are living on the sidewalk in a cardboard box, money will never be the answer to all your problems. Once we realize that we have all we need, the bliss we desire will soon follow. It’s about time people recognize that all the things that make life wonderful do not cost a thing. The rest are much cheaper than we think.

What life lessons have you stumbled upon and applied? What was the outcome?

TERRIfic Quip: Always walk through life as you have something new to learn and you will.

Posted in WOH: Words On Happiness, WOL: Words on Learning | 1 Comment »

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April 17, 2013

Confession: My Name Isn’t Mine

Courtesy of PadPod, freedigitalphotos.net

Courtesy of PadPod, freedigitalphotos.net

It belongs to someone else. I was named after my dad… and I’m a girl. That’s the problem with unisex names. They work for both girls and boys — except they don’t. My parents didn’t see the problem though. As a result, I came in to the world and my parents branded me Terri Huggins, after my dad Terry Huggins.

Little to my parents’ knowledge, that led to many years of frustration and annoyance. It never seemed like a big deal to them, but can you imagine how embarrassing it is to do projects in school about the origination of your name and tell classmates that you were named after your dad even though you’re a girl? And of course, there was always that one kid in the back of the class to scream out, “But you’re a girl. Were you that ugly?” Or think about what it’s like to get pen pal assignments and consistently get paired with someone confused about your gender. I remember it like yesterday,

 

 

 

Letter from Pen Pal:

Dear Terri,

How are you? I am seven years old. My favorite color is pink. Are you a boy or a girl? I can’t tell.

Love,

Amanda

 

Of course, it doesn’t seem that detrimental now, but when you are eight years old just wanting to fit in, those things matter.

The funny part is that my dad’s real name isn’t even Terry. At least, it’s not his birth name. His given name that he chooses to go by is Allister, which is actually his middle name. But for some reason every one around him thought the nickname Terry made perfect sense. And when they had a girl, everyone thought naming her after a “fictional person” was just so clever. That was a mistake…

One would think logic dictates that if I don’t like my first name I should go by my middle name. Well, I would have done that if my middle name wasn’t Marice. Lucky for me, Marice is definitely a girl’s name.  Unfortunately, nobody seems to care. Because my middle name is so close to the male name, Maurice, I was teased for having two boy names. (My parent’s obviously didn’t think that one through) As a matter of fact, one of the first things my now fiancé said to me was “Why do you have two boy names?” Obviously, I got over it since I’m now engaged to him, but the point still remains.

I’m positive it’s something I only face even though there are plenty of other people who are named after a parent of the opposite sex. But I’m convinced everyone else’s parents did it the right way – by giving the child a middle name that clearly resembles the sex. For example let’s take actress and former teen mom Jamie Lynn Marie Spears. She was named after her father, Jamie. But her parents thought enough and realized it would be smart to give her a feminine middle name. She was so lucky that she got two feminine names! And my next example, Bobbi Kristina Brown. Named after iconic New Edition member, Bobby Brown. Not only did she get a female middle name, but she also seems to go by “Krissy”. Rumor has it she’s not too thrilled about being named after her dad and is considering a name change. I wouldn’t blame her if she did… But at least she got her own identity by going by “Krissy”.

 

father daughter

Unfortunately, being named after my dad meant I was expected to be just like my dad. My identity wasn’t mine. It was his. To some, I wasn’t Terri. I was Little Terry. (Notice the spelling difference) And because of that, it was like I was expected to act just like him, look like him and think like him. It doesn’t exactly help that we are both private people, very petite, and have short legs so I was kinda proving everyone’s point. Not to mention we both have birthdays in the summer. I was like a miniature version of my dad. It’s not the worst thing in the world to be like him. But I still wanted to be my own person.

When I was at school, I was Terri HUGGINS and could be anything I wanted to be. Of course, that all ended once I got home and transformed into my dad’s mini-me.

It wasn’t always so bad though. Only my dad’s side of the family refers to him as Terry. Everybody else refers to him by his real name. Or shall I say, the real name he doesn’t have a problem with – as in his middle name.

As much as I can’t stand being named after a male who just happens to be my father, I’ve recently began experiencing some funny feelings about my name and it all started with my engagement.

You see, from the time a woman is born it’s kind of understood that she will change her last name when she marries. Being the rebellious person that I am, I was adamant that when that day comes either I A.) keep me last name B.) have him take my last name C.) hyphenate my name or D.) create a cool new last name we can both share. It worked out perfectly in my mind…. And then I met Brian and all my plans went out the window. I figured he wouldn’t go for changing his name to Huggins, but I thought he’d at least like the other options. I was wrong on so many levels.

He always felt giving a woman his name was his duty and by taking that away from him, I’d be taking part of his manhood. (Trust me, I don’t get it either) But since it meant so much to him I agreed. Being that Huggins is the only part of my name I ever liked, it was a hard thing to do. I mean who else wouldn’t love being called, “Huggie Bear” and getting hugs just for having an awesome last name? Not only is it unique but it’s a great conversation starter. I had to let go of the idea of getting business deals solely on my name and dreams of my future children being fortunate enough to be called “Huggie Bear” amongst friends.

I never identified with Terri or Marice. But I did identify with Huggins so it felt like I would be giving up the person I am. My identity. My hopes and dreams. That unique quality I thought only I had. My sanity. Most importantly, the person I always wanted to be and was finally starting to become. (However, we are now playing with the idea of making my last name my new middle name once I get married.

Though I’m not married yet, my fiancé insists on calling me Mrs. Hart. I, of course, have to argue and remind him that I still have a little  time left to be Huggins. Besides, he has to give me time to cope with leaving the only name I ever liked. The only name that connects me to my dad’s side of the family. And the only name that truly felt like me.

And then it hit me. I’d never lose that connection. Not because I look like my dad and not because a simple name change doesn’t have to change me. It’s because my parents actually did more good by giving me a unisex name than I thought. Sure I have two boy names that I absolutely hate, but it at least they are names that are meaningful and put me in a better position than most women going through the same major life transition.

How do you feel about unisex names? Would you ever name your child after a parent despite being the opposite sex? 

TERRIfic Quip: It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

Posted in WOH: Words On Happiness, WON: Words on Nuptials | Leave a Comment »

March 13, 2013

Mind over Matter – It works

When I want something, I go after it and believe it with every breathe within me. It’s not always easy though. I have to deal with my own fear, different circumstances, and doubt from other people just like everybody else. I even experienced it within my own friends and family. So when I set out to win a honeymoon to follow my upcoming nuptials, everyone thought I was a bit crazy. My fiance delivered the sarcasm, my brother brought the laughs, and my dad delivered his own special dose of realism.

Well, I didn’t care. For some reason, I knew what I wanted would take shape sooner or later. Of course, I knew the odds were against me but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was what was in my mind. Sure, it may have been a superficial wish and one that held no weight in the grand scheme of things but it was one that I was determined to receive none-the-less.

The day it happened was just like any normal day. My fiance was headed to a basketball game and I was neatening up the home. After what seemed to be the hundredth attempt, I asked him to attend a bridal show with me in Princeton. And of course, he scoffed at me, said no, and asked why I continuously attended these events. My answer was simple. “I want to meet people and I’m winning us a honeymoon.” As usual, Brian chuckled and offered his usual sarcasm as he headed out. My last words to him before he left were, “Trust me. I’m not coming home until I win us a honeymoon.”

After mingling at the bridal show for a few hours, it was time to gather in the meeting room to see the fashion show and announce the winning raffle tickets. Everyone held their breathe as they waited to hear if the winning raffle number matched the one on their ticket. The first number was called and it wasn’t mine. My heart sank a little once I realized it wasn’t my number. Everyone looked around the room and but the winner was no where to be found. That meant there was another chance for me. The announcer called a new set of numbers. Once again, it wasn’t mine and my heart plummeted. And again, my heart sank. I kept having thoughts of going back home, having my fiance pick on me after making such a big deal about winning and then coming home empty handed. So I did what any normal person would do in this situation. I begged, pleaded and prayed to myself. As I zoned out, I imagined myself winning this honeymoon and convinced myself that we deserved it after having such a rough year thus far. As I came to, I heard the announcer say, “Last chance for raffle ticket 3307794 .” I promptly checked my ticket and realized that within my hands were the winning numbers.

The moment I won a honeymoon to Mexico.

The moment I won a honeymoon to Mexico.

It turns out that all those times people said, you just have to believe and it will happen and “mind over matter” were right. I know because I experienced it. I pictured myself a winner. Lo and behold I became one. Sure, it was a long shot but it just might be proof that when you change your thoughts, you change your world. I told everyone that I wasn’t coming home without a honeymoon and I was right. Sometimes all it takes, is that vision and genuine, firm belief that it WILL happen.

Some may argue that I won because of luck. Others may say, my prize was a sign of prayers answered by God. Regardless of what may have made my wish come true, there is no denying that my what I envisioned in my mind took form. I guess it’s something to mull over while I’m on my six day, seven night honeymoon at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico!

Have you ever had something you envisioned  later take shape in your life? What was it and how did it happen? Do you believe the power of mind over matter?

TERRIfic Quip: What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet.

 

Posted in WON: Words on Nuptials, WOS: Words On Success | Leave a Comment »

February 26, 2013

How to be a Dream Catcher – Believe in the Impossible!

I’ve been fortunate to realize at a young age that, all dreams are within reach. It doesn’t matter how far-fetched, how expensive, or how long it will take. It is always attainable. I don’t care what anyone says because I know the truth. Nothing is impossible. It’s something that I have believed for myself and others with everything within me for as long as I can remember. It’s one of the reasons why I like to call my self the Ambassador of Dream Catching.

I think we all start out this way at first. As little girls and boys, we have dreams of being a president, becoming a Nascar driver or beating a Guinness World Record. And then life gets in the way. You have kids, bills to pay, and health to take care of. Suddenly, your reality overshadows the dream cloud. Unfortunately, I’ve found that once this happens and we grow up, the “dream catcher” within us dies. All you can focus on are your shortcomings rather than your strengths. You see all that could go wrong instead of what could go right.  Thoughts of “I will” and “We Will find a way” are replaced with “It’s late for me,” “I’m too broke to do anything,”  and “It will never happen.” Before you know it, those phrases take over your life. Suddenly, you are digging a deep grave for your dreams slowly but surely.

 

100 Things You Should Always Say - Dream Catcher Edition

100 Things You Should Always Say – Dream Catcher Edition

Quite, honestly when I see anyone go down that path it truly breaks my heart. I can’t believe it when people are blinded by doubt so  much that they can’t see all they are capable of. We are powerful beings and have the world in our hands. If only everyone channeled it…

That’s why I penned yet another ebook, 100 Things You Should Always Say – Dream Catcher Edition. However, I decided to go in a different direction. Instead of focusing on things you should never say, I decided to write about things you should always say! (Never is too negative of a word anyway!) This time around, I’m challenging you to be a dream catcher. I know you have it in you! Since many of you are unaware that you have it in you, the ebook lists 100 inspirational quotes to restore faith in yourself and your dreams. Read them and instill each of them in your heart and mind. Motivational and uplifting quotes are included  for the fitness guru, unhealthy, student, starving artist, and entrepreneur to help you condition your mind, believe in yourself and inspire you to go after your dreams. It’s about time you started believing in the impossible again. Have big dreams and vow to catch them. And as always, live life terrifically cause it’s never as bad as it seems.

In what ways are you a dream catcher or do the impossible? – Want a free copy of the 100 Things You Should Always Say – Dream Catcher Edition? First ten people to email me at terri@writingbyterri.com and agree to write a review receive it for free!

TERRIfic Quip: If you can manifest it in your mind, you can manifest it in your life.

Posted in WOM: Words on Motivation, WOS: Words On Success, WOW: Words on Writing | Leave a Comment »

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February 19, 2013

Fear: It’s More Powerful Than We Think

 

Fear. The power it holds over us is truly amazing. Fear can keep us from doing something stupid. It can stop us from loosing our

Image courtesy of [David Castillo Dominici] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [David Castillo Dominici] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

lives. And it can stop us from following our dreams. After all, there’s a reason why people say “Don’t lose yourself in your fear,” or “Don’t let your fear decide your fate.” What most people don’t realize is that fear can hold the key to our future.

Let me explain. Everything that has ever scared me and I’ve tried has worked out. If anything, it has made me a better person.

I was afraid to return to my love of dance after a two-year long hiatus. To this date, picking up the hobby again has been one of the best things in my life. (Did I mention I was a hardcore dancer since age three and a dance minor in college?)

I was afraid to call editors when it came time to follow-up with magazine pitches. Those cold calls have led to an increase in assignments and income.

I was afraid to go to attend Rider University in pursuit of higher education. Though I didn’t enjoy my experience that much, I learned a lot about myself and met my soon-to-be husband there.

I was fearful of re-designing my blog. So far it is doing ok and much more pleasurable to write.

I was terrified of putting myself out there and publishing my first ebook. Much to my surprise it’s been well received by many.

Lastly, I was afraid to take a chance and build my life as freelance writer. So far so good.

And just think, all of these things happened because I had the courage to look past fear and conquer them anyway. I would hate to wonder what my life would be like had I not taken the chance at eliminating fear.

The truth is, fear has the power to be good if we let it. Often times, fear is attached to the things we want most in life but too timid to go after. Unfortunately, we never pursue those things because we allow the unknown and thoughts of uncertainty to take over our minds and ultimately our life.

And when we get too timid to pursue something we are scared of, we do the opposite.  Then the very thing we were afraid of ends up happening anyway. For example, remember being in a toxic relationship during high school and college? You knew you wanted to break up but you didn’t because you were afraid of being alone. Of course, you did the opposite, stayed in the relationship and ended up feeling more alone than you ever thought possible.

Or what about that time you were nervous about not being able to provide for your family comfortably  so you chose not to leave the company and apply for the job you’ve been dreaming about? Of course, you decided not to apply for the dream position, stayed at your current job with no growth and ended up finding it difficult to provide for your family comfortably.

In both situations, had you done what you were most afraid of,  the outcome may have been a bit different. Instead, you did the opposite and ended up bringing your worst fear to life.  Rather than using fear as an excuse to hinder yourself, use it as a reason to better yourself. I like to think that if it scares you, it’s probably something you should do.

Behind a door labeled fear is the life you’ve been longing for but you’ve been holding yourself back from claiming that life. Think about it, fear is there to keep you in a safe, settled and limited life. It doesn’t inspire you to do something. Nor does it impart some type of wisdom. All it does is hold you back. It holds you back from growth, opportunity and seeing the life you’ve imagined. Fear creates negative thoughts related to “I can’t”. Don’t allow it to. Be willing to reach for the door knob and turn the handle. You might like what you see behind that door. And in the event you don’t, be proud that you had the courage to face it. For once you have the courage to conquer fear once you can find the courage to do it again. And of course, you can then regain control of your future.

What role does fear play in your life? Has it helped or hindered you?

TERRIfic Quip: “On the other side of fear lies freedom.”

Posted in WOM: Words on Motivation, WOS: Words On Success | 4 Comments »

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February 12, 2013

5 Words Only You Can Define

5 Words Only You Can Define

5 Words Only You Can Define

When I first ventured into the freelance writing world, I had one motive – To make a difference in people’s lives. I didn’t care how I did it. I had just had to make sure that it got done. Once I conquered it, I would know that I truly made it as a writer. I would have been a success. If only it were that simple.

It wasn’t long before I learned my motive wasn’t good enough for everyone. I would share it with others and the responses would always be the same. “Oh, that’s nice but wouldn’t you want to write a NY Times best selling book instead?”

“Don’t you think you would be happier writing on staff at a magazine?”

“I think you’d be better off aiming to be a commentator discussing injustices. You’d make more money that way.”

All of them made valid points, but none were what I truly wanted. That’s why I’m not happy to say that for a while I listened to them. I heard so many voices that I forgot to listen to my own. So I ditched my motives and dared to take my writing in a different direction. It was a direction that would lead to fame, fortune and ultimate success. It was everything a girl could ask for… except me.  As I headed down that path, I didn’t like what I saw and I didn’t like how I felt. No, it wasn’t terrible. It just wasn’t me. And that’s when it dawned on me. I ignored my definition of success to conform to someone else’s. Only I know what it means to be truly successful.

There are many words and feelings people impose their opinions on. It’s not because they’re selfish and not because they don’t care. It’s because they only want what’s best for you. The only problem is that only you can determine what is best for you and what makes you happy. Not your mom. Not a mentor. Not your wife. Not even a dictionary can do it for you. There are some things that you will have to determine for yourself. Unfortunately, not everyone knows what those words are. So to save you from succumbing to outsider views like I did, I’m giving you the list of words that only you can define. Read these five terms and commit to memory. Then promise to ignore words of advice from people quick to tell you that your views are wrong.

Success – You don’t have a multi-platinum album, millions of dollars, and a lucrative contract to be the spokesperson of Pepsi. Though many act like it, not everyone wants to be Beyonce. Nor should everyone try to be, unless it’s something they really want. It may be the definition of it according to many onlookers, but Beyonce is not always synonymous with success. Neither is fame, fortune, family, or freedom. So don’t you ever, let anyone tell you that you are doing it wrong as you strive for success. Only you know if you are doing it right. Decide what “success” means to you and go after it. Regardless of your definition, know that it is always in reach.

Happy – It sounds like an easy enough word. It’s an emotion that usually leads people to smile and show pleasantries. While everyone knows what actions it elicits, very few can pinpoint how to get to it. You think you have it all figured out, but when asked, your mind goes blank and you suddenly have no idea. And then there are those, who are quick to tell you exactly how you should be feeling at every moment and how to get to that elated feeling you’ve been longing for. Unfortunately, listening to  the opinions of others have made it difficult for you to make a conclusion on your own. My advice is to silence all the voices but your own. No one else can tell you how you should  be feeling. Once you stop over thinking it and listening to non-important opinions you will soon know what it means to be happy. And once you do know, do everything in your power to make sure that feeling never escapes you.

Yourself - The horoscopes do it, numerology does it, and even self-help books do it. But only you can truly define who you are. After all, us humans are complex beings. It’s not like our quirks, personalities, and general traits are as easy to decipher and define as a toaster. So what makes these “higher beings” think they can do it? You know who you are. You know what needs fixing and what doesn’t. So don’t be afraid to ignore those who tell you otherwise.

Rich - Having millions of dollars and the ability to live life on a whim, doesn’t mean you are rich unless you say you are. Sure, the general public defines rich as as anyone making more than $400,000 a year. But others may define rich as something much different. Don’t feel bad that you don’t have the most money, a luxury car, and an amazing job. If you really think about it, you are most likely rich in other ways. There is no need to strive  for the “rich” defined by the media. Strive for the rich that makes you feel good.

Family - As children, we’re taught that families consist of a mom and dad and some siblings. We’re also taught that blood relatives are indeed your family. But as you grow older, you learn that family truly transcends multiple definitions. Day by day, your family circle has expanded to include coworkers, friends, fraternity brothers, and mentors. Don’t let anyone tell you they are not family. You know who your family is. Love them as such and you’ll always know where you belong.

How do you define success and happiness? Has anybody ever tried to impose their definitions on you?

TERRIfic Quip: Too many people undervalue what they are and overvalue what they are not.

Posted in WOH: Words On Happiness, WOS: Words On Success | 5 Comments »

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January 22, 2013

Failure Never Looked So Good…

famous failures

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January 15, 2013

10 Quotes to Get You Through Tough Times

10 Quotes to Get You Through Tough Times

10 Quotes to Get You Through Tough Times

“Don’t you ever have a bad day?” It’s a question I receive a lot from readers of this blog, audience members at my speaking events, and those who know me well. The answer is, “Of course I do.” That answer always leaves people in disbelief of my jovial, upbeat, and optimistic personality. The truth is I’m not that happy. I’m just a regular ole’ joe like everyone else out there. I have my bad days – those days, when nothing is going my way and I just don’t want to get out of bed happen to me all the time. The difference between myself and others is that I do everything I can to surround myself by things that will get me out of that funk. And that just happens to be thoughtful, inspiring and motivational quotes. Why? Because there’s one for every occasion. Got bad news and feeling down? There’s a quote for that. Upset about the way your future is looking? There’s a quote for that. Lost the will to go on? There’s an quote for that. You name it and I’m pretty sure there’s a quote out there to help remedy it.

To save you from hours of scouring Pinterest for the right quote that fits your mood, I’ve taken it upon myself to list ten quotes to help you get through tough times. (Cause lord knows, there are plenty of them!) I can’t take all the credit though. I was actually inspired to do this post after reading a similar one by Oprah. Regardless, feel free to revisit this post each time you need a few choice words for a slight pick me up. I have a good feeling it will surely help you through whatever you are dealing with.

For those days you feel inadequate: 

You are enough. You have enough. You do enough.

Since you are only human, I am sure there are those days when you feel like you just fall short. You feel as though nothing you do is every good enough and that you will never amount to enough. Remember, that all you have to offer holds more value than you realize. 

For when you’re at a crossroads:

You don’t need to have it all figured out to move forward.

So you are lost. You have too many decisions to make and no idea how to go about it. Simply put you are confused and feel like an empty vessel. You may never have all the answers. Luckily, you don’t need to have all the answers to go on with your life. 

For those who are sick of the naysayers:

At first they’ll ask you why you are doing it. Then they’ll ask you how you did it.

Let the people call you stupid and crazy. Unfortunately, it’s part of the territory when you go against the crowd and do something out of your ordinary. Ignore them. When it all works out, they will be the same ones amazed and suddenly willing to copy your every move. 

For when you think you can’t take anymore:

Your body can go on forever. It’s your mind that’s telling you to stop.

I get it. You’re tired. You want to give up. You’r ready to throw in the towel. Just don’t do it yet. You are stronger than you know. 

For when things don’t go as planned:

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that’s waiting for us.”

It worked out perfectly in your mind but suddenly it all started to fall apart. Now you have no idea what to do. Have no fear. Sometimes, you just have to accept that what’s in store for you is much better than anything you could have ever planned or imagined. 

For when you wonder, “Why me?”:

You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.

When bad things keep happening one after another you often start wondering, “Why me?” What did you deserve to be dealt such a terrible hand? Well, it’s about time you start asking, “Why not me?” Have faith that you are well equipped to handle it. 

For when you feel like a loser:

You can’t fail if you don’t quit.

You’ve gotten rejection after rejection. Don’t sweat. Just remember they could have ignored you. Every “no” is the beginning of a new relationship. Don’t give up and be relentless. You’re closer than you think. 

For when you’re feeling impatient:

Never give up on a dream because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Sure it will take a while. And yes, you’ve got things to do, people to see, and bills to pay. Yes, you’ve go engagements to handle now and dreams take a while to accomplish. The time will fly by. Keep going after it. 

For for when you’re feeling “unpretty”: 

You are beautiful. Don’t change a thing.

You may have a blemish here or there, but who doesn’t?  The mirror doesn’t lie. You have the ability to light up a room. 

For when you are disappointed about falling short of your goal:

You can only be better than you were yesterday.

Regardless of how your story unfolds you are always capable of becoming a better person. You can and you will. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

What helps keep you going? Do they help you remain positive?

TERRIfic Quip: Since the blog is full of terrific quip’s I figured I’d share my terrific deal! Free Alert: My new ebook, 100 Things You Should Never Say – Bridal Edition will be free tomorrow 1/16/13. Mark your calendars!

Posted in WOH: Words On Happiness | 4 Comments »

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January 8, 2013

How to Stay Motivated: Don’t Get Glad. Get Mad

Don't Get Glad. Get Mad.

Don’t Get Glad. Get Mad.

I know this blog typically talks about getting success and being happy so the advice I’m about to give you will probably be a bit shocking. But I ask that you bare with me….

Getting to success usually takes a lot of hard work, determination and motivation. Now if you are like most people, you usually feel the most inspired and motivated to make a change after something negative happens. For example, you feel motivated to work out more after you realize you can no longer fit in to those size 10 pants. You feel motivated to ask for a raise after your boss decides to  add another duty to your already heavy workload. Or you feel motivated to get your finances in order when you get that last phone call from Sallie Mae about your student loans. In each scenario, the motivation was triggered by one thing. Anger or some other unpleasant feeling. You hated how it felt realizing that you put on weight, or in major debt, or not making what you are worth so much that you vowed to do something about it. So you buckle down for a few weeks and do everything in your power to make sure you never experience that again.

But then you start to feel content with your life. That’s when you begin falling off the wagon. You stop getting up for the morning workout. You stop entering purchases in to your spending journal and you stop drafting a way to better position yourself for that raise. You’ve lost that angry feeling, become content with your life choices, and basically settled. Most importantly, you lost your motivation. Of course, you’re gonna stop taking steps to make that change. You have become complacent with your life.

Don’t feel bad. You are not alone. It’s a trap that many people find themselves in way too often. Even I am guilty of it every now and then.  Luckily, there is a simple way to fix this and regain that motivation. (This is where the shocking advice comes in.) Allow yourself to get mad. Yes, you read that right. Stop getting content and allow yourself to stay mad. Once you lose all the unpleasantries and bad feelings associated  with a certain life aspect, you no longer feel the need to change it. Why would you? If you are content with it, you don’t have  a reason to fix it. I challenge you to regain that motivation to get back on track.

So how do you do that? Allow yourself to relive the moment that first motivated you to change. No, I don’t want you to harp on the past, But give yourself that constant reminder on why you are altering your lifestyle or habit in the first place. Every so often, revisit the day you realized you could not fit into size 10 jeans as you stood alone in the dressing room feeling defeated. Or save that  unappreciative voicemail from your boss and replay it every time you need a kick in your pants to keep striving for your goals. Do whatever you can to keep that fire within you burning. Once the fire goes out, motivation and all hope is lost. Luckily, it can always be reignited. Get mad again and I guarantee that passion and motivation will make it’s way back to you in no time.

Whatever you do, ignore the Gladware slogan. Instead, Don’t get Glad. Get Mad.

What do you usually do to stay motivated? Has revisiting anger helped in rekindling motivation?

TERRIfic Quip: If you blame lack of motivation as your reason for not taking action – you’ll be stuck forever. (Courtesy of Miss Donna)

Posted in WOM: Words on Motivation | 6 Comments »

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December 31, 2012

6 New Year’s Resolutions for a Happy Life

If you’re like me your Facebook timeline is probably riddled with posts of people bashing those who are making New Year’s resolutions. They usually say something like this:

“People swear their life is going to make a turn when the clock strikes 12. In reality nothing changes. Who are they trying to fool?”

“I can’t stand all the “New Year, New Me” statuses. Why not change now.”

“Everyone is sitting there making resolutions like they’re not going to give up on them by February.”

“Why wait for January 1st to change? If you are really serious about it, you’d change now.”

While I agree that you should never wait on the perfect moment to change because the “perfect” moment doesn’t exist until YOU make it perfect, I disagree with the sentiment of knocking people who are trying nonetheless to improve their lives. Regardless of the day they chose, it says a lot when someone recognizes there is room for improvement.

Image courtesy of "FrameAngel"

Image courtesy of “FrameAngel”

All that aside, let’s not sugar coat the fact your attempts of saving more money, losing weight, and getting out of doubt have all come up short. It’s not because you failed to plan or organize. And it’s not because you are destined to be a failure. It’s because all your resolutions missed the bigger picture. All of the resolutions you’ve created in the past are all created in the hopes of one major thing: to live a happier, better quality of life.

So instead of creating all those roundabout resolutions that completely miss the point, I’ve taken the liberty of penning several potential resolutions that hit the nail on the head and will get you straight to the point of living that happy life you’ve been longing for.

1. Vow to do one thing that scares you everyday.

I know pledging to scare yourself on a daily basis is an odd route to take when trying to live a happy life. However, it’s one that I find very important. It’s completely normal, but we have a habit of settling. We settle when it comes to lifestyle, jobs, goals etc. The problem is, when we settle, we don’t grow and end up wondering “what if.” That is definitely not the best way to live a happier life. So I challenge you to scare yourself a little everyday. It could be eating a new food, applying for a specific job, or simply reaching out to a friend you’ve lost touch with. Whatever it is, allow yourself to be scared and then conquer it. Each day you conquer a new fear, the more you will restore faith in your ability and continue to grow. Besides, you never know what opportunities will be revealed as you continue on your own little ” 2013 fright fest.” Six Flags has nothing on you!

2. Vow to live simply

Eliminate the drama, the shiny and the flashy and what’s left is all that you need. When you consistently strive for the big and extravagant, you forget to be thankful of what you already have. Like my mother always said, “Everything is simple. We make it difficult.” It’s about time we get back to that so we can live blissfully. Once you vow to live simply, you’ll find your budget will finally take order, your health will improve and your heart will be lifted.

3. Vow to give a lot

The statistics have been saying it for years. The more you give, the happier you are. Be selfless, donate your time, and reach out to someone for no reason at all. Your heart and spirit will sing.

4. Vow to change your thoughts

Stop the worrying, the doubt, and the self-hate. Have faith in yourself and your ability to conquer all challenges. Remember, worrying does not empty tomorrow of it’s weaknesses. It empties today of it’s strengths. Once you change the quality of your thoughts, you change the quality of your life for the year to come.

5. Vow to trust yourself

It’s something I have to remind myself everyday. Stop second guessing yourself. You know more than you think you do. If your instincts are sending you a signal, just go with it. You don’t need to justify it. That’s the thing about intuition. It doesn’t need to have a reason to make sense.

6. Vow to write down every good thing that happens to you in the new year and revisit as needed.

Having an overall good year doesn’t stop you from experiencing a few hardships and struggles on the way to pure bliss. On those days, where happiness is at it’s peak make not of it and place it in a jar for safe keeping. Then, when you start feeling down again revisit that jar of “2013 goodness” to lift spirits and get happy once again.

What are your 2013 resolutions? How do you plan to be happy in 2013?

TERRIfic Quip: You don’t need to have it all figured it out to move forward.

Posted in WOH: Words On Happiness | 1 Comment »

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